Child's Needs

Children have needs and when those needs are not met children use mistaken approaches to try to fulfill their needs. But there are parental responses that can fill those needs as well.

Mistaken Approach	Need	Parental Responses
Undue Attention seeking	Contact/Belonging	Offer Contact Freely Teach them how to belong by contributing
Power struggles Rebellion	Power	The ability to respond (response-ability) Choices + consequences
Revenge	Protection	Assertiveness + forgiveness
Undue avoidance Procrastination	Withdrawal	Take a break
Risk Taking	Challenges	Get involved in skill building

Taken from Michael Popkin's approach, "Active Parenting"

The SnowBall Effect

     There is something called the Debt-Elimination Calendar also sometimes called the snowball effect. This calendar had helped hundreds of people and I hope that it can help you. The calendar is easy to make: down the side of the calendar is the months, while along the top is your debt, such as credit card, furniture, dentist, physician, and auto loan. Start with your lowest debt on the left hand side and the largest debt ending on the right hand side. In the first month write down the monthly bill for each one. Once the lowest debt is payed off take the money/monthly bill that you were paying and add it to the next debt on the list. Then that debt can be paid more quickly. Once that is paid off use that payment plus what you were paying for the first debt to the third debt. It’s amazing how quickly the debt can be shaved off. It’s like a snowball rolling down a hill, it starts out small but becomes bigger and bigger as the snowball rolls.

Love is key

            People in general have the power to influence each other but even more so families. Families can influence each other by making life uncomfortable, withholding affection, withholding support or encouragement, offering support or encouragement, by their requests and demands. The list is endless, with both positive and negative, though most of what I listed is negative. Mostly because I’m thinking about when is the right time to reprove or correct love ones. First of all, it must be done with love and not in anger or in the heat of the moment. Also there is a time and place, and that time and place is not in public or in front of his or her friends. Next it the reproach should be done with precision, don’t beat around the bush or attack their character, focus on the action or issue. Last show an increase love afterwards, no one likes to be told that they are doing something wrong and you want them to know that they are loved that you are not reproaching them because you want to exercising dominion over them. Love is key. 

Coping

The coping of a swimming pool is one of the hardest spots of the swimming pool. The coping is at the top of the pool were the waves hit but it is also the lip of the pool. Most people think that stress is the enemy but without stress there would be no growth. Life is hard and brings opportunities. Coping during and after stress is the small changing we make so thing fix together. We are always going to have stress in our lives, just like we cope swimming pools before the waves of the pool erode the top of the pool also in our lives we should cope ahead. Planning ahead, not being in a rush, and having a support system in place helps us to cope with stress before stress becomes an issue. Remember the Chinese symbol for crisis means danger as well as opportunity.